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Natural Game
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Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P3
Introduction 5
How to read this book 5
Acr...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P4
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The Hook Point and Sexual Indicators of In...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P5
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Introduction
The System, taught by Gambler...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P6
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In this book, I’ll use a small amount of t...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P7
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Background: Zero to Hero,
Gambler’s Story
...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P8
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lick it and she stood there expectantly, I...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P9
www.puatraining.com
For my shyness, I decided to do a TEFL cou...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P10
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holds you back in many areas of your life...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P11
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I was getting no touching from her and di...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P12
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be a trainer too. I paid $1000 + expenses...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P13
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Success? Email me and I’ll show it to you...
Making your first impression
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P14
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Pre-Game
You...
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Pre-Opening Body Language: Standing-
out ...
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Mission 1
Practice the alpha stance in your house, see
how it looks in the mirror. Next time you’re
in...
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is a step or two away and you casually turn
around or step over and open. In both instances,
there are...
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Fashion
Women notice your appearance. They judge it
instantly and unlike your friends, they can tell i...
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Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P19
trousers with a baggy jumper is wrong, th...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P20
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attractive and powerful person in any sit...
Energy levels and holding attention
Dynamically manage
energy levels to keep
the set hooked.
Most useful for large
sets (3...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P22
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the core components. As a natural introve...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P23
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The 3 Characters of a
Seduction
It doesn’...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P24
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He will be very good for the first few mi...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P25
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also could have the fun sociable guy char...
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Mission 2
You might have one or two of th...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P27
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After months in the field, I realised the...
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Maximising Interactions – Taking Every
Op...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P29
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quickly test a girl’s interest and, ideal...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P30
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The important thing about having a method...
Indirect approach process
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P31
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The 3 characters of a seduction in action
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Opening – Transitioning, Skills of the Natural
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P33
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The First Minute
The first minute of a p...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P35
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stayed for 15 minutes and n-closed one of...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P36
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This one should get a laugh. You’ll be on...
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How’s it going? We’re out picking up chic...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P38
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Cheekier, funnier, doesn’t work as well f...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P39
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him to cut it off completely. And she w...
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My friends GF deleted all the pics of the...
Opening and transitioning - skills of the natural
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P41
www.puatrai...
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For anyone that wants to become a natural...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P43
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Ask Leading questions
Instead of asking “...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P44
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What’s your hobby?
Cinema.
Oh I lov...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P45
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When I connect, I’m doing it by being emp...
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P46
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in these books. People crossing their arm...
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
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Natural Game - Richard Gambler

Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Published on: Mar 3, 2016
Published in: Recruiting & HR      
Source: www.slideshare.net


Transcripts - Natural Game - Richard Gambler

  • 1. www.puatraining.com Natural Game
  • 2. www.puatraining.com Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P3 Introduction 5 How to read this book 5 Acronyms 6 Background – Zero to Hero, Gambler’s Story 7 Pre-Game 14 Your First Impression – Paving the Way 14 Pre-Opening Body Language: Standing-out Positively 15 Mission 1 16 Modelling Actors: Learning from the Best 16 Body Language 16 Direct vs. Indirect Body Language 17 Fashion 18 State Control: Being “In the Zone.” Anytime 19 Energy Levels and Holding Attention 20 The 3 Characters of a Seduction 23 Mission 2 26 Making Things Easier 27 Opening Cold vs. Opening Warm 27 Standing out in a Positive Way 27 Forcing Her Interest 27 Approaching after an Indication of Interest 27 Working the room 28 Mission 3 28 Direct or Indirect? Both! 28 The System – From Open to Close 30 The 3 Characters of a Seduction and The System 32 The First Minute 34 The Power of “Hey” as a Pre-Opener 34 Opening and Transitioning 34 Opening 35 Indirect 35 Opinion Openers 38 Direct Openers 40 Situational 40 Mission 4 40 Skills of the natural – Opener to Hook Point to Rapport 41 Mission 5 46
  • 3. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P4 www.puatraining.com The Hook Point and Sexual Indicators of Interest 47 Rapport 48 Rapport and Comfort Building Questions 49 Mission 6 52 Isolating 52 Deep Rapport 54 Kino-Escalation 56 Closing 59 Number Closing 60 Kiss Closing 61 Same Night Lay 62 Day 2 F-Close 65 Day Game 66 Optional and Advanced techniques 67 Winging 67 AMOGing and Disarming - Dealing with Other Guys 68 Intense Sexual Escalation – Sensing a Woman’s Responsiveness 69 Objection Management and The Boyfriend 69 Challenges 72 Mission 7 72 Sexual Spikes 73 NLP for Seduction 74 Cold Reading 75 Push Pull 76 Dance floor Game 77 Inner game 78 Feeling Good about Yourself, Staying Motivated and Focused – Tools of the Trade 78 Being an Attractive Man 78 Affirmations 78 Universal Frame 80 Frame of Mind During an Interaction 80 Frame of Mind in a Relationship 81 Inner Game Laws 81 Visualisation Techniques 84 Overcoming Transition and Approach Anxiety. 84 Framing an uncomfortable situation 86 Example pickups (live transcripts) 87 Closing Thoughts 92 Trainers 94
  • 4. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P5 www.puatraining.com Introduction The System, taught by Gambler and PUAtraining.com is the first complete system for seduction. This ebook outlines every necessary element for maximising your chances of success and minimising your chances of failure at every step of a successful seduction. It will break down every step, give you the content and techniques you need and allow you to go out with a map in your head which will allow you to be successful with women. The System is not rigid, it will fit in with your personality, natural talents and morals. The core system is the basis of any successful male-female interaction. The extended system covers optional “modules” which can be plugged in based on what works for you. How to Read This Book You’ll get most out of this if you read it in order, it’s logically laid out to take you through the necessary elements of a pickup all the way to the close. I’ve put inner game last because it’s something that you can be working on in conjunction with your pickup skills and I want you to be out there practicing as much as possible and not using the excuse of not having got past the inner game chapter to stop you going out! A certain amount of you’ll read the book and not actively put stuff to use. You’ll do slightly better because the information will be in your mind and any interactions you’ve will be a little better than if you didn’t have the knowledge. The guys that achieve more will be going out and putting things to use. The guys that do best will have missions to try each new thing they learn and will be out many nights a week. They will put the theory into practice, look at their results and refine their approach for next time. Gambler CEO and founder PUA Training
  • 5. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P6 www.puatraining.com In this book, I’ll use a small amount of terms used by the community. They make it easier to explain certain concepts. Acronym Definition AFC: Average Frustrated Chump (average dude with slim to none success with women) Natural: Guy who picks up women successfully naturally. PUA: A person that picks up women using a learned methods MPUA Master Pickup Artist. HB Hot Babe (with numbers 6-8) SHB Super hot babe (9s and 10s) Set Group of girls (e.g. 2 set, 3 set) Mixed set Group containing men AMOG Alpha Male Of Group / Alpha Male Other Guy Kino Touching Opener The first thing you say. Target The girl in the set that you want Direct Showing interest straight away Indirect Coming in under the radar and only dialing it up once group are disarmed and tar- get starts to give indicators of interest IOI Indicator of Interest (girl showing she likes you) Sarging Going out specifically to game Wingman Your partner in crime (useful for mixed groups and to occupy potential blocks) Close Number, kiss, or full/fuck. n,k,f Day 2 A first date following n-close Acronyms
  • 6. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P7 www.puatraining.com Background: Zero to Hero, Gambler’s Story I developed the system over many years of theory and practice. What makes my method different is that people now think I am a natural, I don’t look, sound or act like a pick up artist. What I’ve put together is the system for gaming like a natural-- a man that women find attractive naturally, without the use of routines and gimmicks. Of course, I have a huge collection of pick up artist routines and tricks. These things work and I’ll teach them to you. However, what The System allows you to use your natural attractiveness as a base, reducing the need to rely on canned material that’s not really you. I was an extremely shy, introverted guy. Up until the age of 21, I hadn’t had any success with women whatsoever. Not even a kiss! What held me back were a few things: I was very bad socially, meeting new people scared me and I avoided it. I was the guy at social events that everyone asks “what’s wrong?” and “are you okay?” I had low self-esteem, a bad self-image and was even clinically depressed at one time. I was nervous, shy and socially un-calibrated – I often annoyed people by saying the wrong things. I was called ugly all through school and college. People made fun of my voice, so I was scared to speak loudly, speak in public and even avoided making phone calls. As an introvert, I had a few close friends rather than a big social circle. My friends would invite me out to parties and clubs all the time, but I never went. The older I got, the more of a constant worry it became. Any girl I met would be more experienced than me and it would be embarrassing. I wondered if I’d ever meet anyone. At the time I was moderately successful in terms of my career. This would have been a surprise to my school teachers who were pretty certain I’d be a failure. I’d proven good at marketing and even gained skill trading the stock market in my spare time. I wasn’t going to be a millionaire, but for the first time I was recognised as being intelligent and hard working. Some of my worst moments with women from 16-21: • In college there was a girl who obviously fancied me and I fancied her. I spent the whole year trying to pluck up the courage to say “hello”, “how you doing?” or anything like that and never did. One day I left a note on her bike to say that I liked her and we should go on a date. Yes I am very embarrassed and no, it didn’t work. • In university, a hot girl who I lived with was drunk one night and came to me and said “Richard, I’m really horny!” I said “Oh dear” patted her arm and made an excuse to leave her. She had a bemused look on her face and mentioned sometime later that she thought I must be virgin. • One day in the street two girls came over and one said “you look like her ex-boyfriend” and were giving me a lot of attention. I said “oh really” and let the conversation stale out. • One day on a train, a group of girls started talking to me and asked if I’d ever had a threesome. I didn’t have enough courage to ask for their phone number and instead I let them leave. • At a club one night, a girl came and said “would you like to lick my lizard?” and showed me her lizard tattoo on her belly, I did
  • 7. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P8 www.puatraining.com lick it and she stood there expectantly, I said nothing and she left. • I can look back at all the times I’ve dealt with women and left them with a bemused look on their face and thinking “what was wrong with that guy?” The Story Continues In September 2001, a friend invited me out to a club and I agreed to go. The night before I’d almost sold my soul to the devil saying that I’d give up all my material possessions for a girl. A funny thing happened in the car, he wanted to go to a certain club but I insisted on another one. This was uncharacteristic, since I generally deferred to my friends. We went to the place I wanted to go. In the club, my friend was approached by a hot girl. I stood there watching as he chatted with her. After a couple of minutes, her friend returned from the dance-floor. Our rapidly bonding friends were oblivious to us. I can’t remember who spoke first, but we got into a boring conversation then I bought her a drink. Because we were forced together, she had to talk with me for an hour or more. I was nervous, couldn’t hold good eye contact, but I guess she liked my nice guy manner. My friend and the other girl were getting on so well that he was going to take her back to his place. He wanted to drop us off home first. We went to my girl’s street and we all said goodbye and she got out of the car. She walked 5 metres and I told my friend to wait and ran after her. I just called her name, she turned and I said, “Can I have your number?” She gave it. The next day I didn’t call my prized number because I was too nervous. The day after I called and she didn’t answer. I immediately was broken and sure that was it. Amazingly, she called me back a couple of hours later! She had been at work. We arranged to meet for drinks in a couple of days. We had a few dates after that, they were pretty crazy – to the first she brought her friend along and tried to set us up. On the second, I cooked her dinner, she sat next to me on my couch, put her head on my shoulder and I stroked her hair! On the third, I find out she has a boyfriend. He even comes over so I can’t see her for a few days. She dumps him while he is visiting. Next she is going to university, a 4 hour train ride away, so it looks like it won’t work. It took me 3 dates to kiss her and after 10 dates we still hadn’t slept together. To cut a long story short, I work to overcome all the obstacles and for some crazy reason, my desperate neediness doesn’t scare her off. We spend the next 2 and a half years together. I’m happy and in love and I give up pretty much all my other interests. After two years we start to have problems, I’ve changed a lot and she has too and we start to argue more and over 6 months, things deteriorate and we mutually agree to break up. It’s March 2004 and I’m single again, but I think meeting girls is a cinch, because I have a 100% open-close record in clubs! I’m more confident so I don’t think meeting girls will be a problem. Over the next couple of years I do lots of approaches, get some numbers, have a few dates and they ALL stale out without getting any closes. Over the same time, I’m doing lots of self-improvement. I wrote down all my problems, all the ways in which I wanted to be better and made a plan for addressing each one.
  • 8. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P9 www.puatraining.com For my shyness, I decided to do a TEFL course in Seville, Spain. This would force me to be the centre of attention and stand up in front of a class of people for an hour at a time. In my first class, I was nervous and my voice was shaking. By the last, I was pretty good. I started reading two books a week, mainly in the areas of NLP, psychology, hypnosis, Buddhism and self-development. I didn’t anticipate the effect this would have, but it made me more calm and composed and generally more happy and content. I also took various business and finance courses which added nothing to my PU skill but overcame one of my perceived weaknesses which was a lack of qualifications on my CV. I fixed my fashion over a period of two years. I went from wearing baggy jeans, Nike tops and trainers, to wearing well-fitting, stylish, designer clothes. I initially made mistakes and bought terrible items, but over time I refined my style and learned a lot about labels, design, fit and materials. During this time, people started to consider me as confident and women started paying me more attention because of this and my improved fashion. I was very focused on my learning and stayed out of the social scene. As a result, I didn’t sleep with any women between March 2003 and November 2005 apart from a couple of times with my ex girlfriend! In September 2005 I met Tyler Durden of Real Social Dynamics in Starbucks, Leicester Square, London. He was sitting around with a bunch of strange looking guys and they had papers with graphics showing women and how to approach them. I listened in but it didn’t make much sense to me. I asked him whether it was a speed dating event they were preparing for and he broke everything down to me. He told me to buy a book called The Game and what it was all about. From looking at these guys, I didn’t really buy into the idea that they could do anything with women but nevertheless I bought The Game when it was released. I found the book interesting and spent the next 6 months devouring all the material I could find on the subject. Major influences were David Deangelo and Tyler. I did less than 10 approaches in those 6 months but felt I had a good handle on the area because I had studied it as thoroughly as I had my business courses. Shortly after reading The Game I went to Singapore on holiday. Over there I slept with my second girl, she actually did most of the work but at least I did most things right. She put her hand on my leg, so I did the same. She started rubbing my leg so I did the same. She took my hand, so I kissed her. She still was the one that said “let’s go” but I felt I knew what to do a little better than before and at least would never repeat my mistakes from university again. In March 2006 I moved to London. I picked the location specifically for meeting women– Leicester Square. I didn’t know anyone so I knew I’d be forced to get out there and meet people. I wanted to move to London for years. I was never happy living in Cambridge. I thought it was too small, I thought the people were unfriendly and boring and I didn’t have the kind of social life that I wanted. Why did I wait so long? I found out the real answer and this might be the same thing that
  • 9. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P10 www.puatraining.com holds you back in many areas of your life, it was a HUGE realisation: I was afraid that if I moved to London and it was a failure, I’d be back in Cambridge AND I would no longer have the dream of something better to hold onto. So at it’s core, it was fear of failure. Look at any big steps that you’ve avoided taking and maybe it’s the same reason. But I finally did do it... I basically didn’t know anyone when I moved down. My flatmates were cool and we got on, but they had no social circle so I didn’t get to meet people that way. What happened was that I found some London pick up artists (from The London Seduction Society/LSS) and hooked up with them. I went out with these guys and gave them the kind of respect I’d give the master pick up artists chronicled in “The Game.” However, I quickly found out that most of these guys could talk a good talk and walk a cool walk, but they didn’t seem to be able to open, hold and close the deal with women. I had to ratchet down my expectations a little bit. Over the next few weeks, I met some more of these guys. Most of them I didn’t really want to hang out with, but I did meet two - Eugene and Conor, who were “cool guys” and I tried to go out to clubs with these guys as possible. I was going out four nights a week. At this point, I’d been to a club less than 30 times and was completely uncomfortable in the environment. So these nights would normally involve us opening 20 or so groups of girls, not many would hold. I was overcoming my approach anxiety and a couple of times I was successful in having a nice conversation using my pre-existing introvert skill of being an empathetic good listener. I had a regular night out in Covent Garden with Conor, where I started to get some good results. We’d act as each others “wings,” distracting the protective friends of our target girls so a strong connection and a number close could be made. With a wing helping you, it’s easy to avoid getting blown out. If the conversation flags, your target girl sees her friend conversing with your pal so she doesn’t mind continuing her chat with you. Working alone requires a lot more skill. I was able to get a few number closes but nothing came of them. I had no idea how to use physical contact (kino-escalation) to get a kiss close in the club. I have to say that by now I was pretty confident. The girls I was approaching were often hot and they did compliment me on my looks. It was new and it was good. The next big realisation happened about three weeks into my London adventure. I was in a Soho club with Conor and another guy, when Conor approached two Swedish girls. I didn’t go help him and wing straight away because I was having a go at an Australian chick. It didn’t go too far, so I went over to him. It was an 18 year old Swedish chick. Pretty cute. I was there sitting on the arm of the chair for AN HOUR talking to her and then I told her to move up and sat down next to her, carried on talking.
  • 10. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P11 www.puatraining.com I was getting no touching from her and didn’t know what the hell to do. My one night stand in Singapore only happened because she touched my leg first and I just matched her kino-escalation and then lead with the kiss. Anyhow, I said to myself “fuck it” and put my arm around her and went for the kiss. Lo-and-behold it worked, she was into it. Now I know I probably could have done it after 30 seconds, but the point was that it shifted something in my mind - you don’t need to ask if it’s okay to kiss. Conor left early because his chick didn’t pan out. When the girls left, looking back, it would have been an easy to take my girl home (other one was happy to leave her in my care!) and even get a pretty simple 3-some. But I didn’t because I was probably buzzing from the kiss close and didn’t imagine it was possible. I was now happy in London, I had friends and I felt like I was in control of things a little more. I had a lot of confidence and was on a high because I now was able to attract and seduce women. I learned the basic structure of a pickup from 6 months of theory and a few weeks in field. Admittedly, I spent way too long geeking out on the material. I got way more out of going out and doing stuff. I spent the next month refining my approach. We used a lot of canned material (which I’ll explain later) and it worked to attract girls. My first fuck-close came one night in a Covent Garden club. My friend identified a hot girl. She was tall, blonde, thin, blue eyes. Now she’d be average, but at the time, she was very hot. Anyway, I sat next to her, just chatted away. After some teasing banter to challenge her, I lightly touched her leg and arm and she reciprocated. I went for the kiss after about 5 minutes. I lead her around the club -”lets go get a drink, lets dance, let’s sit down.” We got quite hot and heavy and then I just got up and said “let’s go” She started walking with me but asked “where?” I said “somewhere else” and walked her out of the club to my house. After some wine, I smoothly escalated with no resistance. I’ll leave out the details! Met her for a date another day and the attraction had vanished, I didn’t like that she smoked, I didn’t like her accent, I didn’t like her shoes or the way she walked. I felt like Jerry Seinfeld when he dumps the girl for silly reasons but I didn’t call her again. Over the next month I got plenty of kiss closes and a couple more fuck closes. I took about four salsa classes. I didn’t pick up any girls in the class because they were generally not up to standard but I did devise my “salsa escalation” where I go and ask the girl if she can salsa and then salsa my way into a kiss. I got a Serbian chick in one minute with this and she was a virgin. Six feet tall, toned and tanned body, blonde, blue eyes. It took seven hours before she slept with me and then she was my girl for about a month. During my time with the Serbian girl I think I only kiss closed one other girl and that was when I trained with Brent (a renowned American pick up artist). He came to the UK in May and I decided that either I’d learn loads or I’d realise that I could
  • 11. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P12 www.puatraining.com be a trainer too. I paid $1000 + expenses for an evening from 7pm to 2am. He was good looking, confident and cool. The training was a let down. He didn’t demo anything cool. He couldn’t entertain two girls after I engaged their cute friend (they quickly dragged her away). He only said I should talk louder and escalate faster. That was his only advice. Very nice guy though. Maybe my level was already high. Anyhow, I pulled a nice girl that night. This was the first time I was disappointed with the skills of a well-known guru. There were many more to come in the next few months! Now, when I meet famous pick up gurus, my attitude is, “Hey, if they are great I’ll learn something and if they aren’t, it’ll make me more confident.” Win Win! Over the next few months I improved my game, gained more confidence, had more hot girls and met various influential characters, most importantly - Steve Jabba AKA Vertex and Anthony P. We went out a lot and gamed together. In June I had started Puatraining.com and had been doing 1-on-1s. I was a skilled teacher, could clearly communicate things and was able to analyse the person’s strengths and weaknesses very quickly and give them practical advice. Through teaching, I learned my stuff way more tightly and was forced to game. I learned how to control my state instead of only being able to game when I felt like it. In July I went on holiday for two months with Steve and we went out 40 out of 44 nights in 11 countries. The only nights we didn’t go out was when we were travelling on boats, trains or coaches. During this holiday, my skills at kino, non-verbal pickup, dance-floor game and others all got a huge boost. Steve is a legend and few people have seen his skills when he is at the top of his game. I saw him do things a couple of times on holiday that gave me the shivers! Next level game. Fast forward to today. I am going to parties with celebrities to learn how to game in those environments. I’m working with the guys here to further refine the system. And I’m travelling to different countries to test my game internationally. How do I pick up chicks now? I have an unbreakable routine stack that can get me laid every day of the week, one that uses an unbreakable opener followed by calculated responses, built-in emotional spikes, seductive language patterns and a host of psychological tricks. But you know what? I DON’T USE THIS STUFF! I want to be able to game naturally. I don’t want to know what I’m going to say next. I like to test my intelligence and exercise my mental muscles. I want to make a better self instead of making a character that I can step into and act out.
  • 12. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P13 www.puatraining.com Success? Email me and I’ll show it to you in pictures! I meet a girl of high quality once every 3 weeks. Can kiss close any time I go out. Can fuck close multiple times a week. The only things that hold me back are: • Busy with the business. • Not enough hot girls in London clubs! • Sex drive is not so high that I need 7 girls a week. • I get more out of a loving relationship than lots of casual sex.
  • 13. Making your first impression Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P14 www.puatraining.com Pre-Game Your First Impression – Paving the Way The first impression that a girl makes of you is not formed when you first open your mouth to speak to her, it’s formed when she first catches a glimpse of you out of the corner of her eye. A few years ago, a savvy girl would have been able to tell that I was insecure, unhappy, unconfident, unfashionable, low-energy, unsociable, non-sexual and shy just from looking at me. Why would she want to talk to me? How would she feel if I approached her? It’s difficult to know how you look to others, because you don’t have a video camera following you around all the time. However, we can work to make the best possible first impression by being aware of the necessary components. There are various elements then that affect her initial perception of you:
  • 14. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P15 www.puatraining.com Pre-Opening Body Language: Standing- out Positively The Wrong Way Most guys in bars and clubs are in a bad mood, get drinks and stand shoulder to shoulder checking out the girls. This immediately creates a negative first impression. If you do this, it makes it look like you’re out to pick up women and this can turn off girls before you’ve even approached them. The Right Way The first thing to do is to look like you’re having fun and are happy to be there. When you’re with your friends, face them and engage them. If you’re standing face to face, you can each cover 180 degrees of the location and check out all the girls over each others shoulders. Women are subtle and this is what they usually do. If you’re walking around trying to find the hot girls, do the “where’s Bob?” face and look around as if you’re looking for someone. This subtle difference allows you to check out everyone in the whole place without having the “pick up” guy vibe. When you’re speaking, facial animation and gestures draw attention and make it look like you’re having fun. Someone who seems like a fun sociable guy is someone a woman wants to speak to. Someone who is not having much fun with their friends and only wants to check out women is not someone who will get as good a reaction when he approaches. When you’re speaking, use gestures. Most guys stand there fidgeting, shifting their weight, moving their feet, moving their hands, nervously taking sips of their drink. To stand out from all these guys, to do the following “alpha male” behaviors: Legs: Stand with your feet slightly wider apart than is natural. It will fell unnatural at first, but you’ll also feel completely rooted like a tree. You’ll no longer constantly change position or shift your weight. Arms: Most people I train have a problem with fidgeting, they move their hands around, play with things, put their hands in their pockets and just can’t stay still. Here’s a trick to get over this: put your thumb against your index and middle fingers and let your hands fall to your sides. This removes the natural tendency for the fingers to find something to do. You can stay in this position comfortably for hours without moving. Don’t touch your face. Eyes: Don’t look down! It conveys weakness. Be confident holding eye contact with people. Head: Move your head slowly, it conveys high- status. Quick head movements make you look nervous. Space: Take up lots of space. When sitting, spread yourself out. When standing, have a wide confident stance or gesture. When dancing, move around the dance floor a lot and use big arm movements.
  • 15. www.puatraining.com Mission 1 Practice the alpha stance in your house, see how it looks in the mirror. Next time you’re in a bar, observe other people’s body language based on the rules above. See who has good and bad body language. Be very aware of your own and try to click into the alpha body language mode. Modelling Actors: Learning from the Best Hollywood actors are not natural. They have calculated poses, body language and voices. Look at the faces they pull in pictures and in films, they are not poses that normal people assume. That’s because they are manipulating their facial muscles in particular ways. Tom Cruise’s smile, Brad Pitt’s eyes, Colin Farrell’s sexual badboy look, George Clooney’s voice are all manufactured. You can model celebrities and create a look that stands out as much as theirs. I imitated the “looks” I saw in films and magazines in front of the mirror. Some people might find that embarrassing, but believe me, Hollywood actors have done the same thing. Knowing how you look at all times and manipulating your look to achieve particular effects is very powerful. Knowing how to turn on a sexy and seductive look at the right time will melt a girl. Body Language There are two ways to do a cold approach. One is the cold walk-up where directly approach a girl and engage her. The second is a more casual, seemingly spontaneous way to open: your target 1. Now this example is bad in so many ways. It is very locked in, the stance is statuesque, the head is the furthest part of the body forward. The woman will feel very uncomfortable if this is your body language on a cold approach. If this is how you are standing have to be pretty incredible! 2. So what does this communicate? It’s not scary or creepy, but it is very weak. Look how an attractive man can again be made to look very unattractive with awful body language. Hands in pockets, an approval seeking tilt of the head and an unsure posture all communicate weakness. This is not the pose of a 1 2
  • 16. www.puatraining.com is a step or two away and you casually turn around or step over and open. In both instances, there are steps you can take to create a favourable first impression. Bad Body Language Most men walk up and get in the girl’s face. Do this to someone you know and it’s bad enough. Ask someone to do this to you to see how it feels. It creates a reflex response of wanting to step back and put your hands up. This is putting a lot of pressure on an interaction before it has even begun. Unless the girl obviously interested in you, this is a bad move. This kind of face to face interaction also feels like it could go on forever, both people look locked-in, the only way for the interaction to end is if someone turns 180 degrees. In the event of a blow out, everyone will see what has happened so you’re putting more pressure on yourself. Direct vs. Indirect Body Language The above is the essence of indirect body language. Direct game obviously wants to put more pressure on an interaction earlier on, so making the girl feel comfortable and minimising your chances of getting blown out are not so much of an issue. Direct body language is usually approaching in a sexual state, touching quickly and escalating sexually. Direct body language is all about presenting a sexual vibe – this comes from mental state. 3 There is eye contact but it is lessened by the head being in line with the body and by the use of gestures. One foot is pointing away which makes it feel less looked in and more casual. 4. The lowest-pressure way to open is with the feet pointing away from the target and only the face pointing towards. This looks very impermanent and is very comfortable for the girl. It also looks and seems more spontaneous. Great for spontaneous seeming openers. 3 4
  • 17. www.puatraining.com Fashion Women notice your appearance. They judge it instantly and unlike your friends, they can tell if something doesn’t match, is out of place or is just plain ugly. Good fashion advice is difficult to find and most guys don’t feel a need to concentrate on this area. A few simple rules will help make a huge difference: 1. Don’t Dress Generically. If your clothes are so plain that they couldn’t be commented on by a woman even if she was trying hard to find something to say, then you’re generic. If you’re wearing drab colours with standard cuts and generally blend into the background, you’re not making the most of your fashion. Look around at other men and see how much you can say about their dress. If their jeans have details and funky touches, they are better than standard Levis. If the shirt or t-shirt has a tailored cut, a slogan, cool detailing, funky colours, or a picture, it’s something that means you aren’t so generic and if it reflects your personality in some way. 2. Spend Money on the Right Things. An expensive shirt or jeans is wasted if your shoes are ugly. Spend a lot of money on a couple of good pairs of shoes (one black, one brown). You can mix cheap jeans and shirts with great shoes and it will make you look like you’ve an expensive outfit on. After you’ve some nice shoes, the jacket is the second most important thing (in winter). Next is the top and last are the jeans. A few great outfits are better than lots of average ones. 3. Match Clothes Correctly Blue jeans with brown shoes is better than black. Don’t wear more than three colours. Skinny 5. You probably haven’t had this happen since school, but having someone standing over you will put you on guard immediately. If you approach and start standing, sit down within the 10 seconds. You can use a time-constraint “I need to go soon but just wanted to ask you…” to avoid her feeling uncomfortable sitting with someone she has just met. 6. If there are no spare chairs or you would need to ask her to move to make space for you, you should start off in a position like this so that you are on her level. The longer you stay like this, the more value you lose, but it is the best way in this situation. Quicly ask her to move over or sit on the arm of the chair or even share her chair with her. 6 5
  • 18. www.puatraining.com Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P19 trousers with a baggy jumper is wrong, the fits should all match. More than one bold colour probably means a clash. Sports shoes have no place, but designer trainers are okay. 4. Accessorise A funky bracelet is worth more in terms of female attention than a $15,000 solid white gold watch. Find accessories like rings, bracelets, necklaces that work for you. 5. Get the best hair cut possible. If you’re not getting comments on your hair cut, it can be better. Go to an expensive salon for a free consultation, find out what would be the best cut for your face shape and hair type and then get it done in a cheaper place! 6. Look Like you Get Laid Unbutton your top buttons and look around and copy sexual styles. Looking like you get laid is something you can’t do with generic clothes. Think Colin Farrell. Peacocking Gone Wrong Peacocking is the pick up technique of wearing clothes, accessories, or just generally adopting a style that attracts attention. There is a right and a wrong way to do it. Many wannabe ladies men will copy the clothes and accessories of famous pick up gurus. I see these guys around and the problem with them is that they look incongruent. What I mean is that they look like they are wearing something because they think they should wear it. It doesn’t suit them, it’s not a style that represents their character. They look weird and stand out in a bad way. If you peacock, wear things that you would like to wear because you think it works for your personality. State Control: Being “In the Zone.” Anytime State is how you feel at any particular moment. Everyone has had times when they feel “in the zone” and times when they feel useless. State control is about trying to take the “in the zone” feeling and be able to generate it at will when necessary. State control is something I didn’t learn until I started training. Prior to that, my own state fluctuated based on the vibe of a place, my mood that day, my friends’ mood, the quality of the girls around and my first interactions. When I started training people one-on-one and spending up to twelve hours focused on one person, I needed to always be “on” and so I couldn’t sometimes be in-state and sometimes not. I developed a system for getting myself into state consistently and on- demand. Neuro-Linguistic Programming teaches anchoring, which is basically a method of linking a state to a body movement. I took things a step further because anchoring wasn’t enough for me. Here’s is my system for getting into state: I have affirmations (see later) which I read to myself. At the same time, I play music that has very positive associations for me and gets me pumped up. At the same time I click my fingers and move my body to generate energy. After doing this a number of times, each thing is associated with the others. Before I train I do all three, but while I’m out, the music, the finger clicking or the affirmations alone will be enough to get me in state. When I’m in state, I feel completely confident, able to approach anybody. I feel like the most
  • 19. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P20 www.puatraining.com attractive and powerful person in any situation. This belief means that groups blow wide open. I am able to generate high energy for big high- energy groups, but can obviously calibrate and tone it down for low energy groups. In the past, high-energy groups would intimidate me, so I’d only approach lower-energy groups. In the early days of training, if I didn’t have a connection with the student and felt tired, my interactions might not go as well. Now, I can sense when my state isn’t good enough and generate it instantly. State control tools: • Small MP3 player for taking your music (and recorded affirmations) anywhere. • Crib sheet with affirmations. • Associate a body movement. Relaxed state control: I also have a relaxed state. This is very similar to the above except I have associated a body and hand position (from Pranayama which is like Yoga), to a state (from Pranayama) with very relaxing classical music or self-hypnosis audio. Now, just the hand position on its own is enough to relax me and even lower my heart-rate. Mission 2 Write some affirmations (check chapter in Inner Game on affirmations), collect all the music tracks that get you pumped up in one place. Play the music, read the affirmations out loud and associate a body movement. Do this before you go out. Energy Levels and Holding Attention Your energy levels are a tool that you can use to better manage the reaction you get. You should be aware of energy levels in a location and also of the energy levels of groups you’re going to open. You should aim to stand out in terms of your energy level. If you are someplace where all the men are trying to look cool, then you would be better served by standing out by being the fun sociable guy. If you’re in a very high-energy environment, you should be the James Bond guy that moves slowly and smoothly and stands out that way. Look around a location and see the energy of the various groups. As a rule, you should aim to come in with higher energy than the group you’re approaching. The reason for this is that you want to be more interesting than what they were doing before you showed up to maximise your chances of connecting. This is an area where many guys have problems. Natural extroverts and good story-tellers share an ability to hold the attention of a whole group. I’ve seen guys with nothing to say command attention just by looking interesting. Whereas I’ve seen very interesting guys get blown out when they are saying interesting things because they can’t hold the group’s attention. This was a big problem for me starting out because of my naturally quiet and shy nature. However, it’s a necessary skill in pickup. When you’re interrupting people, you need to be more interesting than whatever they were doing before you showed up. Otherwise they’ll lose interest. The words you use are only a small part of that. The statistic that only 7% of communication being the words you use comes in here more than anywhere else. How do you learn to be more interesting? I’ve broken down
  • 20. Energy levels and holding attention Dynamically manage energy levels to keep the set hooked. Most useful for large sets (3+). The energy (eye contact, gestures) can be directed to the members of the set that are losing interest. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P21 www.puatraining.com
  • 21. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P22 www.puatraining.com the core components. As a natural introvert with none of these skills, I’ve been able to apply them effectively and you can do the same. What are the actual elements that affect your energy levels? • Gestures. Use hand gestures, they hold people’s attention better and are necessary to hold the attention of larger groups. If you get used to gesturing, you’ll find it easier to progress to touching and it’ll seem more natural to the girl. At first gesturing feels forced when you’re not used to it but quickly becomes second nature. To get used to gesturing, bend your arms at the elbow and clasp your hands. Make this your new default position when in set, and put gestures out from this position. A gesture or touch coming from hands by the side is always strange looking – see the difference in other people. • Voice Tone Variation Another thing that adds interest and draws people’s attention is voice tone variation. Listen to broadcasters, you don’t need to go that far, but you need some kind of variation in your tone. Some people will just try to go up and down in voice tone at random. The real way to vary your voice tone is to speak with passion and emotion. Listen to Tony Robbins, he is able to draw you in and hold your attention for hours at a time, and he does it by speaking with passion and emotion all the time. • Body Movement For larger groups, your feet shouldn’t be rooted, you should be moving around. Shifting weight etc is bad when done because of nervousness but in this case you want to keep moving around. Leaning, stepping and shifting weight are the main components here. The reason we gesture and move our bodies is because the eye is drawn to movement. If we are completely still whilst in set, and we are in a venue with movement in the background, the women’s eyes will be drawn to that movement. When you lose eye contact with someone, they are paying less attention. Their eyes wander, they notice other things, and then their mind wanders. • Facial animation People will be drawn into what you say more if you’re more facially animated. Be expressive. Practice, and study others who do this well. • Eye contact To hold attention, spread your eye contact around the group, if you’re losing one person, give them more attention. If you are holding eye contact with someone, and they are giving it back, they have to focus on you and what you are saying. If you don’t look at them, they can look around the room and their attention will wander and you will lose connection. If you hold eye contact, even if they look around the room, they will f eel drawn back to you because of the eye contact. Energy levels can also be dynamically managed during an interaction. This is a more advanced use of energy levels, but what you’re doing here is bringing up your energy levels when you notice that you’re losing the attention of the group or individual members. You direct your gestures and eye contact towards the people in the set that are not paying as much attention, and bring them back in. It’s like spinning plates!
  • 22. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P23 www.puatraining.com The 3 Characters of a Seduction It doesn’t get much simpler than this. Here are the steps you can use to immediately get better results. I could make this chapter into a book and string it out, but just because I have made it as succinct as possible, don’t underestimate the importance! These are the three characters you can assume during every interaction with women. Not it doesn’t mean acting, it just means being aware of how you are presenting yourself at different stages of an interaction. We all have different ways of behaving, with our parents, our girlfriend, our friends. What we do here is use our different ways of behaving consciously to progress an interaction to the next level. You can even use them on existing relationships to escalate to the next level. The Fun Sociable Guy, Mr. Comfort and The Seducer Most guys have one character all the way through a seduction. For a fun extravert, it will be the fun sociable guy. For most men, it will be “Mr. Comfort”, the nice guy who might be interesting once you get talking to him but isn’t especially fun or sexual. The third is the sexual guy who goes in directly and has a strong sexual vibe. These guys will get some results, but they won’t be consistent. Once described in this way, it’s pretty easy to see you need bit of each to be successful in any situation. I was always the comfort guy. I found it hard to start the interactions, to make people laugh and to have fun with light banter. Once in a conversation, I was good at making a strong connection with the girl, but unfortunately I was also missing any kind of sexual vibe and had no idea how to escalate. I’d talk in this way for a while and be thinking about going in for a kiss. The problem would be that the conversation had no sexual tension and so going in for a kiss would have been awkward and would probably be rejected. Guys who also have this will be the often talked about “nice guy who finishes last” and the guy that the girls just want to be friends with. There is a point in an interaction where a woman makes the choice between seeing you as a friend and a possible romantic interest. You need to be able to spice things up at this point to avoid going down the friends route. Over time and without any pre-planning, I developed my other two characters, the fun sociable guy and the seducer and my success rate with women increased hugely. To increase your success rate, you need to use the three characters as follows: 1. The Fun Sociable Guy. This is the guy that makes a great first impression; he has high energy levels (see chapter on energy levels), is animated, quickly makes a good impression and makes people comfortable. He will be able to get in with any group, make them laugh and generally brighten up their evening. We are glad this person is around because there will be no awkward silences, he’ll keep the conversation going. Someone who is naturally Mr Comfort might think too much about what he says, he thinks he’s being considerate, but people relax a lot more when the person they are with is relaxed. The Fun Sociable Guy personifies this relaxedness because he is obviously being very natural, saying what comes to mind and because he is comfortable, people will relax around him.
  • 23. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P24 www.puatraining.com He will be very good for the first few minutes, but might find it hard to connect with the person or to seduce them simply because he is too high energy. After a while, women will probably become tired of talking to him because he can’t be serious or deep. His high energy level is a bit too much for extended periods. We’ve all been in situations with someone who constantly tries to crack jokes, it’s good for a few minutes but quickly becomes tiresome. Use this character for the first few minutes until you’re into a comfortable 2-way conversation and they want you to stick around. Extraverts will find it easier to step into this character whereas introverts will find it harder. I knew for a long time that I needed to be more sociable, outgoing, funny, and interesting, but how do you do that? Everyone can think of someone who is the archetypal fun sociable guy and to be him yourself, you need to: • Be high energy. Remember – voice tone, body movement, eye contact, gestures, facial animation. • Be positive. People in England are generally less positive than our American cousins. We like to moan about the weather, how stressed me are, how bad the food is, and whatever else. Although we can connect with people by taking about all this bad stuff, people would much prefer to be surrounded by people that make us feel good and are positive. Find the positive aspects and if someone starts a negative conversational thread try to turn it positive or switch as soon as possible. I’m not talking about being “happy clappy”, you can be realistic, but if you have the choice of talking about something negative or positive, talk about the positive thing. • Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the music, the company, the venue, the drinks, the food. Most people don’t seem to enjoy themselves much but we are always drawn towards people that look like they are having fun. Enthusiasm, passions, and happiness are contagious. You will make people want to be part of your life if you look like you are enjoying yourself. One man might be a billionaire with the perfect life, but look bored and uninterested, another might be average in every regard but have a real passion for life, and women will want to be with him subconsciously because that person can make them feel good. • Smile. You’ll already stand out, most people don’t smile! • Do most of the talking. Ask few questions. Keep the conversation light, and situational. To develop this character, there are a few active steps you can take and exercises you can do: 1. Do something that involves public speaking – toastmasters club, TEFL course, etc. 2. Try this acting exercise with a friend: One Word Impro. The way it works is that you try and make a story one word at a time. You say a word (“I”) and then your friend says a word (“will”) and you continue like this (Go. And. See. My. Friends. At. The. Beach. And build. A sandcastle. Then….) When you come to a full- stop you use words like “next”, “afterwards”, “then”, to carry it on. You try to increase the speed and when you get good at this, it should translate directly into natural conversation. You can see this character at work in actors like Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers. I’d imagine that quick witted TV hosts
  • 24. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P25 www.puatraining.com also could have the fun sociable guy character down. 2. Mr. Comfort After you’ve integrated into a group, you can bring out Mr. Comfort. When you first approach strangers, they are usually in a “wait and see” kind of mode. It might happen quickly, or might take a while, but soon they should open up to you and commit to the interaction. How do you know when this has happened? Non-verbally: They will stop looking at each other or around the room and will be focused on you and what you say. Verbally: They will start to commit more to the conversation, giving longer answers and asking you questions. Mr Comfort is interested and interesting. He listens 50% of the time, doesn’t talk too much about himself and tries to understand women, find common interests and build rapport. He should stick around until you’ve a connection with a girl, at which point, he should start to bring in some elements of the next character, The Seducer. Usually Mr. Comfort can not start conversations very well and he is not very seductive, so it will be awkward when he goes in for the kiss. Being Mr. Comfort was always my strong point. Most introverts will have this character down and will be at home in this mode. The problem is getting stuck in it! 90% of the time when guys tell me they have been put into the “friend zone” by a woman, it’s due to being Mr. Comfort for too long. Having no sexual vibe, no matter how good you are conversationally, means you’re no more use than her girlfriends or gay best friend! 3. The Seducer The Seducer, coming in after The Fun Sociable Guy and Mr. Comfort will be very effective. The following are behaviours of The Seducer: • He looks at a woman in a way that tells her he wants her. • He speaks more slowly, with a deeper voice. • He touches her in increasingly sexual ways. • He holds her hand when he talks. • He holds intense eye contact. The Seducer should smoothly emerge from Mr. Comfort as you find out more about the woman and become more attracted. When he is there from the start it looks like you’re just into her for her looks. By matching the way a woman becomes attracted to a man (generally they warm up to a man over time) you separate yourself from other guys and she’ll feel a deeper connection. Learn the three characters of the seduction and you’ll smoothly move from starting conversations to getting intimate. It’s one of the most useful skills you can have in female attraction.
  • 25. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P26 www.puatraining.com Mission 2 You might have one or two of the characters down, but work on the others. Sorry but the best way is to use a mirror! You can also watch films and see the transition at play. The woman is never going to feel turned on in the action scenes, just like with the fun sociable guy. She isn’t going to feel turned on from the coffee shop conversation, that’s Mr. Comfort. Watching how actors switch the mood up by looking at her differently and speaking in a seductive way, it’s easy to see how this can apply in the real world! Become aware of yourself and practice your seductive looks in the mirror.
  • 26. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P27 www.puatraining.com After months in the field, I realised there were ways to make my job of picking up women much easier. I could cold-approach a seated group of five, isolate, go off somewhere with one of them and go for the close. However, I learned that by only considering cold approaches I was missing out on a lot of much easier opportunities. I also realised that I could do certain things to increase my success rate on cold approaches by increasing my value within a location first. The easiest approach is a warm approach. The second easiest is a cold approach in a location where you already have a lot of value. Here’s how you make your approaches easier and maximise the chances of success: Opening Cold vs. Opening Warm A cold approach is when you open a girl and are unsure of the response you’ll get. She has not shown interest in you and might not have even noticed you. A warm approach is one where you think the response will be at least somewhat positive because you’ve made eye contact or received some sign of interest. Obviously, if all our approaches could be warm approaches, our results would be a lot more consistent. There are ways of increasing the ratio of warm to cold approaches. These are: Standing out in a Positive Way Being the Fun Sociable Guy and talking to people besides the hottest girls will disarm the hotties. They’ll see you having fun with people and by the time you get near them, they will be a lot more open and receptive. This is easier than trying to stand out in a club by being super cool since many other guys are trying to do the same. Making Things Easier Forcing Her Interest Most guys deal with eye contact from a girl in one of three ways. The first is that they nervously look away and get embarrassed. The next is that they hold the eye contact. The third is that they force a smile. These are all pretty bad. You can still wonder why a girl was looking at you and use the uncertainty as an excuse not to approach. Here’s what to do: force her interest! When you’ve eye contact with the girl, provoke a response from her by doing something like: pointing at her, waving, raising your glass, making a cheeky face, poking your tongue out. Personally, I do my trademark “point.” The girl is compelled to respond. The number of responses she can give is limited. She can: • Mirror your action • Smile, • Smile and look away embarrassed, • Look away in disgust, • Turn up her lip like “what’s he doing?” If you get a positive reaction, you can approach straight away. If you get a negative reaction, you probably won’t get a good one when you open. Many of my girlfriends were gamed by forcing interest. It’s is one of my best skills and makes my life a lot easier. Approaching after an Indication of Interest If she gave you a sign of interest, it’s doubtful she’s not attracted. So go for it! I usually use “hey, how’s it going?” Longer, involved openers like asking for an opinion will kill tension. Just be boldly direct.
  • 27. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P28 www.puatraining.com Maximising Interactions – Taking Every Opportunity In a club or bar environment, if you limit yourself to cold walk-ups, you’re making things difficult for yourself. There are plenty of opportunities around you at all times to get into interactions: Women stepping on your foot: “hey, watch it punk (squaring up with smirk), let’s take this outside, let me see (do flex pose and point for her to do it, then muscle feel).” Women squeezing past with drink: “cheers.” Women pushing past rudely “no my dear, do it like this (demo polite way to move past), excuse me sir.” All these will allow you to get into interactions without the pressure and effort of a cold approach. Working the room Working the room in pickup involves talking to all the groups you’re interested in and some other people in the room, being very indirect. At the end of a short interaction, the key is to make to leave and then as if it’s an afterthought, grab the name. What you’ll be able to do in a short amount of time is: • Meet and get the name of all the targets. • Create a positive, safe, non-threatening, impression in the targets’ heads. • Establish yourself as the fun sociable guy. After you’ve done this, you’ll be able to re-open any of these groups at any time during the night. You’ll also notice a big increase in interest from girls that you’ve already opened. Getting the name is the key factor, I found out by chance that re-opening using the name is much more effective and they actually treat you like someone they have known for a long time. This technique is best used in smaller places early on in the night. That way, as the night progresses and people open up, your options will continue to increase. Plus, you won’t have the problem of opening when it gets noisier. Mission 3 Go to a bar, buy a drink (or get a tap water!) and go around the bar and cheers everyone. You will find that people will always cheers you back, and that afterwards you are getting a lot of attention from girls wondering why you didn’t try and pick them up. It’s an easy way to work the room and removes the need to think of anything to say! Direct or Indirect? Both! There are two very distinct schools of pickup and most methods either fall into direct or indirect. The System takes account of both and I suggest that you use both. Direct game involves approaching, immediately conveying interest, then rapidly intensifying the interaction with words and kino-escalation. An example of direct game is to approach a girl, tell her you think she is beautiful and take her by the hands and increase physical contact. You’re basically approaching in seduction mode (see The Three Characters of a Seduction). The benefit of a direct approach is its efficiency. It allows you to
  • 28. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P29 www.puatraining.com quickly test a girl’s interest and, ideally, close her. Who wants to wait hours to kiss? The drawbacks of direct game are that: It takes a lot of personal and sexual confidence to pull off. It generates more approach anxiety by putting you on the line and adding pressure to the interaction. It might blow you out of a group that would have been receptive to a more subtle slow approach. Women generally need more time to warm up to a guy and go less off the initial first impression. Indirect game basically is coming in under the radar, getting the girl comfortable with you and slowly introducing the sexual vibe. The benefits of an indirect approach are: Less approach anxiety by minimising the chance of getting blown out. Easier to do on an all girl or mixed group. More and longer interactions which allow you to get comfortable talking to women and to practice your conversation skills. The drawbacks of an indirect approach are: Sometimes the target wants you and you lose her because she doesn’t think you’re interested. You can waste time on a girl who you have no chance with (she’ll never find you attractive, she is engaged, she is a lesbian) and you don’t find out because she thinks you’re just being friendly. I suggest you use direct game when you’re getting a clear sign of interest. If you’re not quite sure, take the indirect route. I also suggest that your approaches be indirect until you have a lot of experience reading situations and have overcome any approach anxiety.
  • 29. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P30 www.puatraining.com The important thing about having a method or system of pickup is not so that I can say that my method is better than any other or that this is THE method for picking up women. What is important is that I think it’s necessary to have the structure of a pickup in your head any time you’re in an interaction with a woman you like. This allows you to know what you’re doing and what you need to do next. My system is purposefully designed to be simple enough to learn and understand in less than an hour and from then on, it can always be in your head. The System as laid out below refers to a somewhat indirect approach in a day or night- time environment. It involves an opener, a transition which is the thing that follows from the opener (you should have these two prepared). Next you use “Skills of the Natural” until you reach a point where she has opened up enough to give more to the conversation. This could be immediately but you may need to do most of the talking until the target gets comfortable enough to have a conversation with you. At this point you can ask more questions and go into Universal Transitions (fallbacks that you can ask people in any situation) and Rapport. There is a goal at every step. Initially, the goal is to get them committed to the interaction. You know when you’ve reached the “hook point” because the girls will do one or more of the following: • Open up their body language to you. • Stop looking at each other and all focus on you. • Ask you questions or make other attempts to extend the interaction. • Give fuller responses to what you say. The System – From Open to Close Once done, we switch to the next goal which is to use rapport to find common interests and use the universal transitions to find out their current situation. This puts us in a better position to number close. Next come Deep Rapport and Kino Escalation, these put you in a better position to get a physical close. Deep Rapport is especially useful having sex in two hours or less. During deep rapport, you need to get a strong connection with the girl and make her see you’re someone who understands her. The kino-escalation is necessary to have some sexual tension so that you avoid “being a friend.” It allows you to test the water by gradually increasing the intimacy of the touch leading up to the kiss. Knowing what you’re doing from open to close will greatly increase your success rate because you’ll be constantly focused on the goal. The 3 Characters of a Seduction and The System How do you apply the three characters within The System? The fun sociable guy should be used until you reach the hook point. The comfort guy should start to come in at this point, especially if you’ve got the girl all alone. The seduction guy can come in after some connections have been made in preparation for a physical close. Think of them not as “on” and “off” but as sliders that allow you to smoothly flow from one to another.
  • 30. Indirect approach process Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P31 www.puatraining.com
  • 31. The 3 characters of a seduction in action Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P32 www.puatraining.com
  • 32. Opening – Transitioning, Skills of the Natural Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P33 www.puatraining.com
  • 33. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P34 www.puatraining.com The First Minute The first minute of a pickup is the most important. In this time, you’ll have identified a target, gone into state, overcome any approach anxiety, positioned yourself, opened and hopefully achieved a hook point. Normally by the end of the first minute, you know how receptive the target is and whether or not you’re in. The Power of “Hey” as a Pre-Opener Why do all openers start with “hey”? This is an important point that needs to be explained. If you deliver an opener to a woman or a group, most of the time you’re interrupting them. They will likely be in conversation already, or at a least thinking about something , so will have a conversation going on inside their head. When you start talking, you’re breaking that state and their response will be “what?” They will say “what?” even if they heard what you’ve said. Think about how you do this in your own life. I only learned this properly when I started training and saw students open without saying “hey” – the girls would say “what?” and the interaction seemed to always go badly after that. It got them off on the wrong foot from the beginning. The “hey” is followed by a pause and it’s to ensure that you have the attention of the group BEFORE you deliver your opener. It’s “hey” [pause. Group looks at you] “do you guys…” The pre-opener can be anything that gets the attention of the group, it can be “hey,” “oi,” “yo,” “howdy,” whatever you like. Opening and Transitioning Everyone wants to know the openers, but the transition is actually more important. I like to say that the opener doesn’t matter. The most important thing is what you follow the opener with. That’s why, until you can freestyle using “Skills of the Natural,” you need to know your opener and also the transition before you start an interaction. If you open with “hey should I dye my hair blonde?” and they say “yes,” and you say “ok thanks, bye”, that’s not too good. You need to know before you go in what you’ll follow it up with. So you can use that opener and then your transition is “cool, because my hairdresser tells me every time I go there that I’d look great with blonde hair, he’s a great hairdresser. But he’s gay so I really wasn’t sure on this one.” Actually I say he’s gay because I just think he is, but he tries to talk about women. He just looks gay. Do you think you can tell when a man is gay?” If you go in there with that much ready, you’ve enough to get to the hook point in a lot of cases. If you just have the opener ready you’ll be putting a lot more pressure on yourself. I prove that the opener doesn’t matter with students by getting them to give me the lamest opener possible and still showing that I can hook or close. An example would be “my elbow hurts,” this was one given to me by a one-on-one student who just didn’t believe that the opener wasn’t important. I went in to a seated pair of girls without knowing what I’d come up with as a transition. I used “I was testing the theory that you can use anything to start a conversation.” They were initially very negative, but even off this opener, they opened up after a minute or so and I
  • 34. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P35 www.puatraining.com stayed for 15 minutes and n-closed one of them. I could also have used “I’m doing acting classes and wanted to see if I could make you believe my elbow actually hurt.” The transition needs to also be as solid as possible. If it’s weak it shouldn’t be dwelt on, change subjects quickly. Opening The opener is the first thing you say to an interaction. The best openers make her laugh, make you look cool and are much more interesting than whatever they were doing before you came along. There are various types of openers. An indirect opener is one that doesn’t immediately convey your interest in her and doesn’t put much pressure on the interaction. If you say “You’re hot and I want you” that would be direct and is putting a lot of pressure on her, if you say “when does it get busy here” there is no pressure. Opinion openers work very well in bars and quiet clubs. Time and time again I’ve seen them successfully “hook” a group. Indirect Here are some indirect openers and how they might be used. Different people feel comfortable saying different things. You can pick a few from below, modify one or later make up your own. You don’t need hundreds. A couple of solid tried and tested openers are enough. Oh, there is a guy over there who is so perfect for you. This opener involves approaching a woman, pointing to a guy you think is “perfect for her” and trying to take her over to meet him. Invariably, she’ll refuse and then you can say how she should trust you because you’re a great matchmaker. It leads nicely into conversation on dating and relationships. Her objection is projected onto the other guy, so you’ve less chance of getting rejected. It also provides a false disqualifier for you, ultimately making it easier to hook a group. You’re so…In my way. If you’ve a situation where you’re walking and a girl blocks your path, put your hand up as if to gesture her to stop. Look at her seriously and deliver the line. The key is the pause; it makes her think you’re going to say “you’re so beautiful” or some other cliched statement. If you do it right, it guarantees a laugh. Are you guys sociable/friendly? Standard opener, can deliver with suspicious face. Be ready for a yes or no answer and have a follow- up ready. Are you guys super shy or what? I’ve been here for 10 minutes and you haven’t offered to buy me a drink or even said hello. This one puts them on the spot slightly and then releases the tension and they will laugh if delivered right. Are you posh girls, are you rich? This allows the funny follow-up “I’m looking for a rich posh girl who can buy me stuff.” Did you invite all these people? I thought it’d just be us. This is semi-direct I know you probably get no attention from guys whatsoever so I thought I’d come and make some conversation with you.
  • 35. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P36 www.puatraining.com This one should get a laugh. You’ll be on the spot after this, so have something to follow it up with. Clothing primp. What’s your name? This one is good for a girl with a hat or other kind of accessory. You look at her, double take, look at the item and screw your face up as if something is wrong. Hold out finger to say “wait”, adjust the item then study her again and then make a thumbs up. Don’t let the opener end there otherwise that will be it. Follow it up with something like: You: What’s your name? Her: Tanya You: Tanya, I’ve just made you 38% more attractive, you owe me! Hey, I’m out meeting people tonight, what’s your name? Standard, pretty low-risk opener that fits a fun sociable guy frame. Is this area of floor taken? This is funny, it’s a play on “is this chair taken?” Other variations include Park: “is this area of grass taken”? “Get ready!” “Huh?” “We are going to chat you up.” What you do here is tell the girls that you’re going to chat them up. You can add something like “I don’t know how many times you’ve been chatted up but this is going to be the best ever, you should really be sitting down…! You then do a little bit of whispering and you come in with the lamest chat-up line ever – something like “Is god missing an angel because you’re here?” Deliver it with a horrid unconfident delivery. Then you let them reject that version of you which gets past their bitch shield and offsets their objections. You can then start talking about meeting girls in bars, picking up and dating in general. Ask questions about what the best and worst approach ever was. Are you undressing me with your eyes? If a girl is making eye contact with you, this is a good opener to use. My girl friend thinks you’re hot. Uses fake social proof to make it easier to open. Point to some random hot girl who is “your girlfriend.” Later it can be revealed that she is a female friend and you’re in fact single although you’re friends with lots of girls. Are you guys making mischief over here? This is a funny one, the delivery is important, suspicion mixed with playfulness works well. Say they look shifty like they are going to steal something. My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot. A somewhat direct opener that offsets the direct question by asking it from a friend’s point of view. I know that look, are you guys male-bashing? When you see women talking seriously, you can open with this. Chances are they are talking about men so will laugh. If not they still probably laugh because they know that they often are male bashing. I saw you checking me out. I knew that if I didn’t confront you, you’d be following me around all night and try and follow me home. I don’t need another stalker.
  • 36. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P37 www.puatraining.com How’s it going? We’re out picking up chicks. Why didn’t you call me? (suspicious) You look familiar, did we have sex? This one is very funny but more for the guys delivering it than the girls. I like it a lot but there are much more effective lines. Are you listening to our conversation? Then why you acting so nervous? This is a good way to open a group who are standing near you. You can follow up with “so what do you think?” “About what?” “About what we were talking about” “We weren’t listening!” “Okay well we were talking about whether…..” Into an opinion opener. Which of you guys gets hit on the most? This is a pretty good opener on two attractive girls that look kind of different. Are you confident enough to accept a sincere compliment? Good so am I, you go first. This is classic, it will usually make them laugh. Expect that it can sometimes fall flat after they laugh and have something ready to follow up with. Are you single? So when are you asking me out? Are you nervous? This one works very well because it puts the girl on the spot and gets her frustrated. You can then release it by nudging her and laughing or saying “wow you’re really cute when you’re mad.” You want to fire the questions in quick succession without giving her much time to think or answer fully. If I didn’t have a girlfriend and wasn’t gay, you’d so be mine. This is a variation on saying you’re either gay or have a girlfriend. I think this one is better because most people do not want to mislead a girl into thinking they are gay or have a girlfriend. This one is confusing but her subconscious will get that you’re actually saying “you’re mine.” Big table – “Hey, sorry I’m late.” How the hell do you approach a big group who are waiting in the street or are sitting at a table in a bar/club? With this one way. Talk about how the traffic was terrible. You’re Paul’s Cousin Bob’s nephew or whatever. It’s funny. When you get caught out, don’t dwell on it, ask some names and find out what’s going on then proceed as normal. Which of you girls is the toughest? You have very thoughtful eyes. I think you have a lot going on inside here (touch head). This is a good direct line to use on a girl who looks bored. Most guys go in with “you look bored.” That’s never going to work. This one is a nice direct compliment that works. Hey, I have a policy of meeting the hottest girl in the club when I go out. My names Rich (shake hands). Nice opener that has got me in consistently. Hey, I have a policy of meeting the hottest girl in the club when I go out. My names Rich (shake hands). So, do you know that girl (point at another hot girl?)
  • 37. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P38 www.puatraining.com Cheekier, funnier, doesn’t work as well for me! Opinion Openers Opinion openers are the easiest way for a newbie to open in a quiet bar/club. They are good in that they can get a long conversation started pretty easily. A well-crafted opinion opener can guarantee you a few minutes of conversation. However, they’re overused by pickup artists. You should be careful using the “classics.” The way to deliver an opinion opener is to either make it seem spontaneous or to “root” it. A spontaneous one comes from reacting to something your friend supposedly said and asking whoever is nearest, which just happens to be a pair of hot chicks! Rooting the opener means that you need to tell them the reason you’re asking so that they know why they are spending their time giving you their advice. I will illustrate this with the Dye Hair Blonde opener: “Should I dye my hair blonde?” will usually get a one-word answer. “Should I dye my hair blonde, because every time I go to my hairdresser he says ‘man you’d look great with blonde hair’ and he is a great hairdresser, but…he’s gay, so I need your help, should I die my hair blonde?” will get you a much fuller response because you’ve rooted the opener and told them the reason you’re asking. This also helps it seem more indirect and innocent if that’s your goal. Another important point about opinion openers is that they can be used ANY TIME in the interaction. If things are dying out, just throw in an opener. They are designed to be the most interesting conversation possible so are a great way to re- capture interest. Jealous Girlfriend Routine You: Hey guys, let me get your opinion on something. I’m trying to give my friend over there advice, but we’re just a bunch of guys and not qualified to comment on these matters. Okay, well my friend has been dating a girl for three months. And she just moved in with him. Now, this is a two part question. So, imagine you’ve been dating someone for three months. And he is still friends with his old girlfriend from college. How do you feel about that? HBs: Answer. You: Yes, they’re JUST friends. There’s nothing else going on. They talk like once a week at most. HBs: I think it’s fine/I don’t think they should be talking/whatever You: Okay, now let’s say that he has a drawer in his apartment. And in that drawer he keeps all of his old photographs and letters. Now, some of those letters happen to be from ex’es and some of the photographs happen to be with ex’es. HBs: blah blah blah concerned comment blah blah question You: It’s not like he ever looks at them. They are just there, like old souvenirs and memories of his past. HBs: I think it’s fine/I think he should put them away in a closet/He should destroy them/whatever You: Okay, the reason I’m asking is because WING’s girlfriend says doesn’t want him to talk to his ex from college at all. She wants
  • 38. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P39 www.puatraining.com him to cut it off completely. And she wants him to destroy all of his old photos and letters from ex’es. She says it’s just holding onto the past and he should let go of it now. Personally, I thought it was extreme and a bit insecure. But what do I know. I’m a guy. And, as we all know, guys think differently from girls... David Bowie Do you guys think the rock star David Bowie is hot? ‘Cause get this, my niece just got a poster of him this big (indicate with arms) and put it on her ceiling, I mean that’s an old man, do you guys like old men? Piercings I deliver this one as follows: “Guys, what do you think of piercings? Because my ex-girlfriend was a bit of a rock chick and she used to always say (pinching eyebrow to show where it would go) “you should get a piercing”.” I’m not going out with her anymore, but I’m still kinda considering it, do you think piercings are sexy?” This one goes into lots of things about male attractiveness and what they consider attractive in a man. Do I look gay? This one is killer. It seems to never fail. The root is that a guy just tried to pick you up, or your friend said you look gay in those shoes/that shirt. They will laugh and it just works a charm. Do you think Derren Brown/David Blaine is sexy? The follow up is to say that you’ve been studying magic/psychic stuff/ESP or whatever and that you wondered if it was their looks or their abilities that made them sexy to some women. It leads in to any skill or routine in these areas. Do you believe in palm reading/handwriting analysis? Follow with “me too” or “I didn’t either but then…” and go into a story about a relative who does it for a living and showed you some stuff. “I was sceptical but I brought my friend along and they got everything right.” “I’m not entirely sold, but I’ve been learning it a bit and want to see if it’s a way to get to know people better more quickly.” This is a nice way to open and lead into one of these skills in a smooth way. How soon is too soon to get engaged? You look like you can help me with this. My friend is coming in an hour and he needs my advice. He has known his girlfriend for 3 months and he is going to ask her to marry him, tomorrow. He says he wants my advice, but I think he has already made his mind up. I think it’s too soon, but if I tell him that he might disown me because I think he has already decided. But if I say it’s a good idea and it doesn’t work out, I’ll feel responsible. So what do you guys think, how soon is too soon to get engaged? This is a fantastic opener that leads straight into relationship talk and has a lot of drama built in. It should hook very well.
  • 39. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P40 www.puatraining.com My friends GF deleted all the pics of them kissing from his digital camera, you think that means anything? I’d further classify opinion openers into “Spontaneous seeming” and “walk-up strength.” If you have three girls sitting in the corner and need to go and approach, it’d seem strange to go all that way only to ask if they think you look gay. However, using “How Soon is Too Soon” will work very well. Generally you need a more serious opener for a walk-up. Direct Openers Direct openers are something I took a while to get the balls to deliver. You need internal confidence. You have to believe in what you say and put yourself on the line. You have to have complete authority. If there is a hint of weakness and she picks up on it, the opener will fall flat. When you have confidence from success using other openers, or if you’re confident because you can tell that the girl is attracted to you, bust out the direct game and it’ll be fantastic. Super fast results and women that think you’re incredible because of your boldness. With a direct opener, if she doesn’t respond negatively, take the direct route and escalate quickly. I know this is kind of random, but I had to tell you that you’re just too cute Do you know who you remind me of? Someone I want to meet. I like you / You’re beautiful. And I’m going to get to know you. For more openers check out the PUATraining Blog. Situational These are what I mainly use now at the time of writing. A situational opener is taking something about the current situation and using that to start the interaction. It could be noticing something about her, it could be a Seinfeld-esque “What’s the deal with corn nuts?” Usually it’s noticing something about the environment and saying what happens to be the question in your head. “How can they eat ice cream in the winter?,” “would you wear THAT?” “Which one do you think is healthier?” I know when I have used a situational opener when I try to remember which opener I used and I can’t. It’s so natural and unconscious and uncalculated that I don’t remember it. The way to be as natural and comfortable as possible is to get used to just saying whatever comes into your head without delay or planning. Mission 4 Write down 3 openers you like, go out, and open 10 sets. Your goal is just to open and stay as long as you are comfortable, make an excuse to leave, get their name, and eject. This is to get comfortable with opening sets. You will notice that as you get more comfortable, the interactions naturally last longer.
  • 40. Opening and transitioning - skills of the natural Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P41 www.puatraining.com
  • 41. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P42 www.puatraining.com For anyone that wants to become a natural with women, someone who seems like they’ve always had the ability, this is the section to pay attention to. I used to be a terrible conversationalist, boring on dates, useless in groups, a terrible public speaker and unable to hold people’s attention. Now I game like a natural. This means that I’m able to break down exactly what’s necessary to be a naturally good conversationalist and generate attraction. I can also give you exercises to practice this skill. During the first minute of an interaction, you need to do most of the talking. Anything that puts the conversational pressure on her is something that she could use as an excuse to end the interaction. When she is comfortable and committed to the interaction (which could be instantly, but generally takes longer from a cold approach) you can start putting some of the conversational burden on her. The Art of Small Talk Women are sick of boring conversations with men. They have had the same one over and over and over. If you can be different, you’ll stand out hugely and quickly generate attraction. First, what shouldn’t you do if you’re a good conversationalist? Hairdresser conversation What kind of conversation do you have with a hairdresser, person in line at the post office, your aunt who you see once every 6 months? It’s probably boring, shallow and what I like to call conversation on rails. When we meet someone new, they say “what do you do,” “where are you from,” “do you like films,” blah, blah, blah. We hate answering these questions over and over, yet we ask them of others. For attractive women who get approached regularly, the issue is even bigger. Interviewing her Many women are approached and immediately put on the spot to answer a series of questions. The man’s only response to her answers is usually “oh really, so…” This quickly gets boring and any woman who puts up with this for long must either be really attracted to you or very, very polite. Don’t ask a series of questions. Ask one and connect on the point then ask another. For advanced level skills, try to elicit the answer without asking the boring question – make an assumption or guess about what she does, where she is from, or what food she likes. You get the same information but it’s more interesting for her. Stating the obvious If a girl has pretty eyes, she has probably heard it 500 times. Find something more specific to her, preferably not about her appearance. Or don’t say anything at all. It’s fine to give an obvious compliment with feeling when you’re already together but in the early stages it’s not what she wants. The above methods of eliciting information either put conversational pressure on the girl or are boring. Low-Pressure Hook Elicitation Here’s what you should be doing instead. The following are some ways to elicit the boring information without asking the standard questions.
  • 42. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P43 www.puatraining.com Ask Leading questions Instead of asking “where are you from”, say “are you Swedish.” Make some kind of personal guess that shows you’re paying attention to her. Make assumptions and funny guesses Instead of asking what she is doing, say “okay, so you’re waiting to meet Steve, he is a guy you chatted up on the internet and you’ve no idea what he looks like, but he is going to be wearing a red shirt.” She’ll laugh and then tell you what she is actually doing or even better she’ll play along with it and you’ll have a fun moment. Make up a silly scenario. What is she going to do with her friend? Why is she visiting London? Another example “okay, so you’ve been shopping all day, bought loads of stuff and now your feet are killing you so you’re going for a coffee together.” This kind of thing also gets you in the habit of focusing on them and making observations and cold reads. Over time, this skill is developed and you can usually guess correctly! Connecting on the Hooks A “hook” is something given to you that you can use to extend the interaction without starting a new, unrelated topic. Every time a woman opens her mouth she is giving you a hook. It might be her accent, the words she uses, or the information she gives you. If she tells you she is Brazilian and is studying English in London for three weeks, you have three hooks that you can feed off (Brazil, studying English, here for three weeks). The way to feed off a hook is to relate the point to them for a little while, which establishes a connection and only then to ask another question or to elicit another hook. Your goal with each hook should be to connect in a positive way about the point. The best way to do this is to talk positively about her. The less effective way is to relate the point to your own experience, be clichéd, or be negative. Let’s look at the three levels of evolution in this area: 1. The high-pressure interview What do you do? I’m an artist Where are you from? Switzerland. What’s a hobby you’ve? Going to the cinema. Put yourself in the girl’s position here. She is constantly under pressure, the spotlight is always on her and she is being asked to commit a lot while getting nothing back. She is not rewarded in the slightest for giving you information about herself. Regardless of her answer, you are straight on to the next question. This is because you are thinking about he next question as she answers instead of trying to use what she gives you in a unique way depending on her response. This is how most guys pick up. 2. Self-obsessed relating What do you do? I’m an artist. Cool, my brother is an artist, he makes these sculptures out of plastercine, he made one the other day of a fish, it’s really cool…. Where are you from? Switzerland. Oh great, I have a Swiss watch and I like Swiss chocolates. My friend went to Switzerland on holiday, said it was great.
  • 43. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P44 www.puatraining.com What’s your hobby? Cinema. Oh I love watching films, I saw that new Johnny Depp film, that was cool…I want to watch that new one coming out next week, forgot the name… What is going on here is that the person is using the hook, taking the pressure off the girl, so it’s better than the interview. However, they are not making a connection, they are putting up a barrier. They are saying “anything you say I will relate to my reality and I won’t try and understand yours.” When someone is talking about themselves, it’s less interesting than when they are talking about you. In this kind of conversation, the girl will not want to give more to the interaction because you have not shown empathy or understanding. At this level of rapport, it takes a lot longer to get rapport and solid closes. Sure, it will work sometimes, especially if you have other talents that shine through when you’re talking – humour being the main one that can save the day. But to get fast rapport and connection, you need to do it like this: 3. Gambler-style Hook Connections – Taking Things Deeper “What do you do?” “I’m an artist.” “Interesting, I like that, I imagine you must see the world in a different way to most people; you must be able to appreciate beauty in more things. “Where are you from?” “Switzerland” “You don’t look like you do, but I heard that people from Switzerland are quite conventional and really stick to rules and things. You look more like a bit of a rebel, just look at that hairstyle! What’s a hobby of yours?” “Cinema” “I guess that being a creative person, you must enjoy seeing other people’s creativity, but when you look at art I guess you always see the technical aspects as well so it must be nice to go to the cinema and just enjoy the experience. “ The above are snippets from real conversations, but in the actual conversations I didn’t jump around the topics in that way, because I was talking about her. The conversation naturally flowed more deeply into those areas. By giving the examples of the most boring questions possible and seeing how they become acceptable, you can see how this is a very powerful technique. She would tell me more about her art and natural questions arose from imagining what it was like to be her. If I am imagining being an artist, I can talk globally about it, then I might wonder what kind of art. I’ll ask her and then I have more information which I can use to imagine her more deeply and so connect more deeply. This process continues usually until the topic naturally morphs into something else rather than the staccato style of examples one and two. Of course, you can relate things to yourself if they are particularly relevant and you have something interesting to say. But try to connect with her on the hook first, that way she’ll be 10 times more interested in what you have to say. It kind of invokes the law of reciprocity – someone is interested in me, I’ll be interested in them!
  • 44. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P45 www.puatraining.com When I connect, I’m doing it by being empathetic and imagining what it’s like to be them. Another kind of hook is an Observational Hook. This is something that you observe about her – her shopping bags, her clothes, her make-up, her nails, her body language, the expression on her face. These are all things you can use to create new conversational threads. Attraction Building - Making her Conversational Threads More Interesting At some point she is going to want to contribute to the conversation, she’ll ask you questions. The danger here is that they are super boring and so kill any kind of interesting stuff you had going on. Here’s how to be ready for this: Have interesting answers to standard questions There are certain questions and conversational paths that occur again and again for each person. Think about what yours are and make your input more interesting. If a conversation gets boring because the girl starts asking boring questions, she won’t remember it was her fault, she’ll just know she is bored! Stay away from topics like: • Disgusting stuff • Religion • Contentious political issues. • Violence. • Bad past relationships • Negative things. Talk with passion If you can talk with passion about things you care about, it draws people in. If you enjoy something, let it show, be expressive, use visual and emotive language. People get caught up in it and start to feel good too. When they feel good, they will want to talk to you more. Use story-telling skills here (see chapter on story-telling). So, let’s put it all together with an example of the natural + situational observational opener. The following interaction is was real demo for a student. Location: Leicester Square, London, 3:30pm. I recorded the interaction on MP3 and the below is the transcript. There are many techniques used and you can continue to refer to this. You’ll see more each time you look: (A girl standing alone with arms crossed, looking pretty unfriendly). Me: Hi, you’re crossing your arms and I study body language so I could say that’s because you’re closed or in a bad mood, but I was noticing a lot of people standing like this recently and either people are more closed at this time of year, or more people are cold! <Laughs> so are you in a bad mood or are you just cold? HB: I’m cold. (No conversational pressure to begin, I’m talking and bantering without putting conversational pressure on her. This is necessary because I have no indication of interest and she looks unapproachable). Me: See people take this body language stuff too seriously, they need to put more disclaimers
  • 45. Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P46 www.puatraining.com in these books. People crossing their arms are closed, UNLESS they also might be cold. People stroking their hair fancy you, UNLESS their hair is in their face and they can’t see anything. <Laughs> You look like you’re waiting for someone? HB: Yeah, I’m waiting for my friend. (At this point, I don’t immediately ask another question like “who?”, “what time were they meant to be here?”, “what are you doing together?.” This would be natural but it’s not very interesting. She has given me another hook which I can feed off so I should use it. Her body language is opening up and she is receptive to the interaction). Me: I hate waiting for people here, you can’t call them because they are on the underground and there are so many people so you keep thinking “is that them? Is that them?” the time goes way slower than when you’re waiting somewhere less hectic. So let me guess, it’s your old school friend and you’re meeting for the 10 year reunion dinner? HB: <laughs> Well is my friend from university but we are going for a coffee. What’s your name? (This is a big sign of interest. She is asking a question of me. It isn’t related to the topic and it’s personal which means she wants to know more about me and extend the interaction) Me: Richard, and you? HB: I’m Anna Both: Nice to meet you. (Shake hands) Me: Wow, your hands are cold <takes other hand too>, squeezes them. (I’ve quickly kino’d and I’ve actually done a quite intimate thing that jump starts a sexual frame). So is your friend cute? HB: <laughs> She is actually. Me: Cool, so we can all go to coffee together, but we can’t stay long we need to be somewhere. Tell her I’m your fiancé that we met last week, it was a whirlwind romance and that we flew to Vegas, got married by Elvis and came back yesterday. <Laughs> Skills of the natural pretty much ended there because we moved into a more 2-way conversation and rapport. The interaction went on in more relaxed style, she started giving 50% of the conversation and asking a lot of questions. Her friend turned up (who was hot too) and we went for coffee together after we persuaded the friend to be cool with things. Number closed and ended the interaction after 30 mins. Went to bed with her at the next meeting and she later became a girlfriend. There is no way to conversationally block a pickup unless she is being directly rude. Mission 5 Practice your new conversation skills on your social circle. See if you can make them feel good and get a deeper level of connection than you normally do. You’ll notice that you get a much better reaction from people and can use these skills at work.

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