Politically Incorrect Reasons To Hire Old People
You've heard the usual reasons to hire older workers. Here are the politically incorrect reasons to do so.
Published on: Mar 4, 2016
Transcripts - Politically Incorrect Reasons To Hire Old People
Reasons To Hire Old People
Anyone who is ﬁfty-ﬁve and unemployed knows they
are more likely to win the Nobel Prize than ﬁnd a
job, even if they have a Nobel Prize on their résumé.
The thirty-year old hiring manager is well aware that
older workers have more health problems. Older
workers don't multi-task very well. Older workers
have more trouble with technology. And older
workers are more likely to lose their cars in the
company parking lot. Hiring managers aren't stupid.
Their parents are baby boomers.
Companies don’t really believe the politically correct
reasons to hire older workers.
Therefore, it would be useful to both sides to know
the politically incorrect reasons to hire an old person
over a younger but equally qualiﬁed candidate.
Older People Don’t
Want Your Job
Old people are happy to have the job you give them.
They are wonderfully unambitious. They won't
disrupt your team with Machiavellian power plays.
Older workers know that if they were going to be
CEO, if would have happened by now. They've
made peace with it. And they're ready to do the job
you actually need done.
Older People Have Lost
Interest In Sex*
Typically the older male job applicant has a nagging wife,
several ungrateful children, and a second mortgage. He is
not interested in re-creating the same scenario with a
female member of your staff. Older female job applicants
are either married and jaded or single and jaded. Either
way, they know romance is not all it's cracked up to be.
You can count on older workers to keep their noses to the
grindstone, instead of snifﬁng around the ofﬁce for sex.
* Except for a few old perverts
Older People Don’t Get
Invited To Happy Hour
Young people don't socialize much with old folks.
Older workers will have shorter lunch breaks because
they aren't talking to anyone. In fact, they'll probably
eat at their desks. Older workers won't go to happy
hour with everyone else. They'll go home, watch the
news, and be in bed by nine. When you include
hangovers as a variable, older workers are far more
productive than younger ones.
Older People Don’t Have
Most older workers use very little social media. They
forward emails of puppies. They go on Facebook to
keep up with family and share photos of the
grandkids. They don’t know how to post a video of
you being an ass on YouTube. They can’t Tweet
#badboss or post your snarky emails on Imgur. Even
if older people ﬁgure out the technicalities of social
media, they have less than 25 followers. Nothing you
say or do will go viral.
Older People are Not Drug
Addicts or Alcoholics
If they were, they’d be dead by now.